Similarity

Sometimes it can be good and sometimes just despicable. Reading a story this morning about a Pakistani rape victim , I was struck by the name of the village where it occurred- "Raja Ram"- the name of a Hindu God. For all of its  struggle to establish itself as a separate nation from India and define an Islamic identity, this name demonstrates that there is so much that continues to tie Pakistan to the history of the sub-continent-  an ancient cultural consciousness, cuisine, clothing, music and sadly even the commodification of women.

In this village, named after a Hindu God, a mother effectively "offered" up one of her daughters to be "revenge raped" and as a result a sixteen year old was brutally assaulted to save the rival family's honor. This is exactly as it is in so many parts of India. In Pakistan too, a woman's sexuality is not her own. Like the rest of her it is "owned" by her kin, made a receptacle of the family's honor, and bartered away or forcefully taken. The irony being that the very act of "empowering" her with the capability of bringing dishonor to the family leaves her the most helpless. How I wish this was not the similarity between the two nations that made headlines. Would have been so much better to read of the two countries- among the most populous in the world-  celebrating women as givers of life and empowering them in a way that they could truly be the  pride and joy of their families.

Longing

Everyone pines for different things in life. Fame, success, a lost friend, companionship, and for many of us who are so far from the homes we grew up in, this longing is for the parents and family who we left behind.  When we are young, the decision to move to a foreign land is filled with the spirit of adventure and any anticipation we may have is over ridden by the excitement of starting a new life. But as we grow older, the craving for the familiar or the sense of anxiety that comes from the slowly eroding ties, becomes palpable. We plan annual trips home, lug innane gifts for family members who we see only once a year, cram in  too many house visits and street side eating excursions in a bid to savor every moment, capture as much of what we don't really have any more. It is all silly and sweet at the same time. But no number of trips home or microwavable Haldiram parathas can replace that longing in the heart with a sense of fulfillment. But perhaps that is the truth of the life of an immigrant. We have left our homelands behind, embraced a new culture and re-built new lives- but a small piece of us is always missing and that is what we long for to make us whole.

Details

God is in the details. That is what we have always heard. And while I may dispute that it's God who is in the details, I have learnt that one can not under estimate the importance of details. A massive project at work just took me so much longer than it should have because I am not good with the details- the small disparities in fonts, verbiage- all the stuff that makes the difference between a good and a great business document. But the question is - will I ever be "good" at that? Is it a skill that I can acquire? Can it ever come to me as naturally as it comes to some of the other people I know? Or is it just better for my organisation to partner me with someone or an internal department who can  take care of "stuff" for me? I doubt that. In this age of hyper-efficiency, self-service and cost cuts- I am pretty much on my own here. And maybe that is for the best. Hopefully acquiring this skill at work will also have an impact in my personal life. I am truly not good at noticing small things in every day life. Maybe this is a goal for the future- a development opportunity?

Leisure

There is no better renewal than leisure. Giving your mind and body an opportunity to relax, de-compress, and do nothing, is very critical. Many religions believe that we are born with an assigned quota of breaths so if we breathe slowly and evenly, we will maximize our time on earth. Maybe that is why a few hours of inactivity is a much needed activity! Make the time to do absolutely nothing- even if it is to make the time to be able to do everything.

Self-Confidence

Ever noticed what a difference self-confidence can make? Whether it is a simple task at work or a really meaningful hurdle in life- self-confidence not only helps us stay positive but as a result makes it easier for us to actually come up with a solution. I have struggled all my life with numbers and anything that requires adeptness with technology.  So the simple act of being able to locate, retrieve and empty the garbage compartment on my Roomba gave me an amazing satisfaction and a feeling that I could fix stuff. A feeling that I do not have very often. Similarly when I get quizzed about invoicing issues at work (did I hear my husband just cringe) and I know just what the client is saying- it goes a long way in helping me curb my 3:30 pm craving for Fro-Yo as a mood lift. 

Friendship

What can be more fun that watching kids play? We have been blessed with a lovely family as our neighbors. Their spunky little ten year old girl is a great companion for Kabir and the perfect foil to his precocious mini adult being. She is bubbly, carefree, with just a hint of that pre-teen naughtiness that makes her so much fun to observe. She pushes him to explore new things and is not afraid to beat him. But the great part is - she is generous girl. She encourages him and can come down to his level- she is three years older than him and when you are ten, seven seems like a hundred years ago. It took her a year to open up to us, but this summer she and Kabir have really hit it off. From sleep overs to playing in the yard with the garden hose, it has been a pleasure watching this friendship grow.

Solitude

The sound of silence is probably the most profound. The silence that comes from being alone and not lonely. In a world where we increasingly surround ourselves with things to do, people to visit, milestones to cross, solitude is rare and therefore to be cherished. A stop to activity, deliberate thought and planning can be very therapeutic and renewing. I am getting a day like that today and intend to use it to the best way that I can- by doing NOTHING!

Passion

Seeing the swimmers at the Philips 66 USA Swimming's National Championships in Indianapolis was nothing short of amazing. Had to stand for 15 hours but the passion of the swimmers and everyone there gave me the energy. The coaches, the parents, the swimmers exuded a passion for the sport and a single minded termination to win. Got to see first hand what it takes to become a champion and support a champion. It has to be a drive from within, an unwavering commitment that makes it a priority above everything else, otherwise it is simply not possible.