Voice

Call me naive but  I am only now beginning to realize that having a voice has long been the domain of the privileged and the powerful. They get heard so their desires and thoughts shape so much of the world around us. This means that the few decide for the many how life should be run. This is not just frustrating, but very dangerous.

I recently finished watching two series on Netflix- both about men who the filmmakers claim are wrongfully incarcerated and victims of the power play that plagues many of the rural counties in the US. In these kinds of rural settings the local law enforcement is the law. In the face of very little opposition, and aided by an imbalance of power, DAs and Sheriffs run operations like their own fiefdoms. Personal grudges turn ugly when a crime is used as an opportunity to settle a vendetta.

If these documentaries are to be believed, power is so concentrated in the hands of the few that an ordinary person with no means to competent legal counsel can get lost in a system that is eager to find someone to blame. Each criminal caught and put behind bars is a feather in their caps, so the police and the public prosecutors bend rules, flaunt basic rights, and jail people on the slimmest of evidence.

Of course it would be foolish to simply believe what the film makers portray- but the striking parallels in both cases can not be ignored. Both are set in rural Wisconsin, both involve suspects from low income backgrounds, and both cases have exculpatory evidence that is just simply ignored. These were men who lived on the fringes of society and hence were were easy to blame and paint as criminals. 

The documentaries span decades in the life of these criminals and the overpowering theme is how their constant and steady claim of innocence falls on deaf ears. Their voices go unheard while the system that has sentenced them fights back using all the power at its disposal.

I am neither very powerful nor very privileged, but I would like to believe that I do have access to some means to defend myself should I be wrongfully accused- hopefully if it comes to that I will have a voice that will be heard. But if not I can't imagine a worse state of existence.

Pride

There is nothing as joyful as the praise of your child. I do not experience it very often so I will take it when I get it 😊! It was with immense pride that my son  recently declared to a friend that his mom is an "amazing storyteller" and writes a blog. Granted that it was all in an attempt to impress the friend but nonetheless I was glad that he chose to highlight that characteristic of his otherwise ordinary mom.

It was also humbling moment. That moment reiterated for me what most of us know as parents but scarcely see it demonstrated so clearly- our kids observe EVERYTHING we do and learn from it every moment of every day. Which means we have an immense responsibility to be a worthy role model for them. Yes they will interpret what they see, color it with their own perceptions, but we give them the foundation on which they can build their version of the world.

What's more, they will likely learn from something you least expect just because the novelty of it struck a chord with them!  So if given the opportunity get creative in how you demonstrate values, life skills and other life lessons- run a marathon, bake cookies with friends, coach a school team, maybe even write a blog! It will be worth the pride in their ever watchful eyes.

Anything

It is easy to say that we will do ANYTHING for the people we love or for something that we really really want- such as a taste of warm home made carrot and milk dessert on a chilly winter evening- just like your grandmother used to make it. But I just discovered that there are somethings that I just won't be able to do even though I may love the person for who it is meant. In my case that something is iOS coding! Yes you read it right. I love my husband and it kills me that he is struggling to start something big, make a mark in this world, and the people around him will not give him what he needs and are hindering his success. So what did I decide? I decided that I am going to be that person who takes charge- learns iOS coding and just swoops in and takes care of his coding troubles. But one look at those tutorials and I realized that this is not what I want to do at all! In fact I will do ANYTHING to not have to do this- LOL! Ironic and funny how that worked out. I think I will stick to being what I actually do well- keeping him inspired while bugging the hell out of him.  So while my anything is not everything, it can be my something.

Uber

Why talk about Uber? Because it is the God of our times and it is Devil of our times. Uber stands for everything that new business models in today's age mean. Swift, innovative, and built on challenging an established system. But there is an inherent risk in this model- it sacrifices everything for speed and in the process is prone to ignoring certain rules of business leading to its peril.

The stepping down of Uber's HR leader today is just one more link in a long chain of events that bring into sharp focus what can happen when a company grows too quickly and throws caution to the winds. Just because you provide a swanky office or free bagels every day, it does not eliminate the possibility of some of the traditional work place issues such as sexual harassment and racial discrimination. And when enough time is not spent to build internal processes to prevent these acts or deal with them when they happen- people will turn to the media for redress. Instead of playing out behind closed doors, the conflict moves to the media and is played out in national, and many a times international headlines. Ironically enough the media is plagued by the same symptoms and this just compounds the problem- everyone can now be a reporter and a tip becomes a reality even before it is substantiated.

So while we all love the innovation that today's technology and asset lite business models bring- it has created a very challenging situation- where the expectations of the employees and consumers continues to be the same as it has traditionally been, but these new companies such as Uber and Air B&B are still figuring out how to better anticipate and manage liabilities. Uber may think of themselves as a mere consolidator of available rides for hire but a passenger thinks of them as the company that owns the whole experience and is therefore accountable for it.

Connections

Just finished an  hour long conversation with a former colleague.  It was meant to be a quick tete a tete  to get some career advice but turned into a  fun conversation about everything under the sun. I hadn't spoken to her in a while and she now lives in Colorado- so I was hesitant, and frankly afraid of intruding on her time as she is quite senior to me. But in the absence of anyone else to turn to, I decided to take a risk and text her. Surprisingly she responded almost immediately and didn't just give me advice but also shared some of her similar struggles. The connection was immediate and meaningful.

I think all of us yearn for meaningful connections and sometimes it's a just a matter of overcoming that initial hesitation and reaching out to another person. You will be surprised at where it may lead you and what new friendships you may discover.

Lens

Today, I got to see a part of Mumbai I lived in a few years ago, through the eyes of another person and suddenly it was transformed! From a dusty, crowded, loud space which I  never really considered home, it became a treasure trove of life experiences, sweet childhood memories and lasting bonds between families.

Ratna Pathak- a well known Indian actress and theater personality- grew up in Dadar, Mumbai, and a show on Netflix recently took her down memory lane. With the host she visited the house she grew up in, the parks in Dadar she frequented with friends, and the restaurants she ate at. And as she spoke, she brought that whole place to life with tales from the past. I found myself drawn into her narrative and yearning to go back and see it all just once more. To touch it, feel it, and breathe it- the way she had. That is the power of a new perspective and that is the power of a good storyteller.

Thanks Ms. Pathak for a brief but wonderful encounter with a familiar place, made new through your lens.

Alone

Does not necessarily mean lonely and I am relishing the discovery! Having packed hubby and sunny boy off to India for a month, I am by myself after a long time. There are plenty of plans and aspirations. Mostly around what I know to be un-achievable spiritual discovery and weight loss goals. But whether I do it all, or just some, or maybe none- it is refreshing for the soul to just be.